Avoiding the blog.....UPDATE on the bobbsy twins and their battle with cancer!

Hello everyone!
So this blog started out as a way to update my family and friends and then I went into "procrastination" mode--not updating it for months!  Sorry about that-- here's the latest!

MOM and I finished our chemotherapy's in mid/late April. HOORAY!  We both suffered majorly with the third and last doses, and it continues. (We took 4 rounds of Taxol, two weeks apart.)
The side effects were different for this 2nd chemo. Taxol affects your nerves and gives nerve pain in feet and legs. Numbness and tingling in feet and fingers where the tiniest nerve endings are. Both of us still have numb feet!!  We don't know how long it will last, and for me, it is quite annoying. But there is no Chemo Pain everywhere like there was for Andromyacin (the last chemo chemical we took.)  So we thank God for that!
Mom continues with chemo related anemia and fatigue. I am not nearly as fatigued as she is. I am definitely tired at the end of the day, cannot paddle a kayak for more than 7 minutes at a time, and am horribly out of shape! In addition I have pulled something in my left foot due to the neuropathy and limp at the end of the day. I am trying to do as much as I can to get back into shape, lose the chemo/steroid weight, and fit into my clothes again!!!  Eating a healthy, low fat, organic diet of fruits and veggies is the key. AND IF YOU COUPLE THAT WITH EXERCISE,  IT WILL CUT OUR RECURRENCE OF CANCER RATE BY 20%!! THAT'S A HUGE INCENTIVE!
MOM lost 30lbs during chemo due to lack of appetite and from her diverticulitis, which was a horrible way to lose it. But she looks great and it's healthy to be thinner. Her loss however, was my gain!  UGH!

NOW WHAT?

Now that chemo is over, Mom and I are under a radiation doctor's care a few miles from her condo. Dr. Gauwitz of the Countryside Cancer Center is a gem! He is treating the both of us for our next phase:  30 RADS.  That is, 30 radiation treatments to our right breast. (5 days a week for 6 weeks.) We are the first "mother daughter" team he has ever treated!  I pick mom up every weekday and OFF WE GO!  We are only there for 25 minutes total!  We walk in together arm and arm smiling and laughing at our pitiful plight!
The nurses and receptionists say, "You guys are sooo cute! "  (smile)
It is nice to be doing this part of our treatment together, because with chemo we were separated.

Linda and Russ (my sister) and their two children were faithful in getting Mom through chemo. They left their unfinished house being built in NC to come live with her and take care of her during her treatment. They had to go back a few weeks ago. Zoe and I have taken over now.

WHY RADIATION TOO?
Ok- here is the scoop on radiation. The chemo cleansed out any rogue cell that may have been in our bloodstream waiting to "set up shop" and grow a tumor in the future. But it didn't necessarily kill off the "tumor site" cells that may come back again in the right breast. The radiation will take care of that.
Side effects include fatigue in the last two weeks, (great) "sunburn", peeling, itching, at the site.
NOTHING COMPARED TO CHEMO---YAY!! 
For me burning is a bit worrisome though because I had planned out my Farm Camps here at the farm in February, thinking I'd be done with radiation by then. Instead, this coming week, and then my last two weeks of radiation, will be during my June farm camps--in the outdoor Florida summer heat, sweaty, itchy, burnt! YIKES.
But I can't disappoint the kids. They come from all over to be at farm camp for FARMER and ANIMAL FUN. LOL   I will get a cooling apparatus to wear around my neck, and make good use of the fan and misting system in the barn!


WHAT HAPPENS IN THE RADIATION ROOM

We go inside a room that has a 10 inch door that closes is off. When I realized I was locked in behind that door, I got panick'y'.  But the room is big, not a closet or anything, so I soon calmed down. You strip off your robe, (top naked) and lay on this narrow table with you hands stretched over your head. The radiation techs measure you and mark you with a marker on you ''cleavage'' and on either side of your chest. There are two or three of them hovering over you while you lay there "hanging out!" hahahah
This big ''monster'' of a machine comes gliding around and positions itself to the left of your body. They all leave the room and say, "Here we go, be right back." And that big, thick door shuts. The monster machine then makes this ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh sound for 30 seconds while you lay still. It is radiating my boob.
Up above where I stare straight up, on the ceiling, is a tropical beach and water mural with lights behind it so it looks very real.  I imagine myself there, kayaking and swimming in the waves. It's my coping technique.
Sometimes, as I lay there, I talk God and let him know that I'm scared. I'm scared that the radiation is going to harm me, or that the big, thick door will never open...... I'm scared the cancer will come back and that my boys will be MOTHERLESS...... the fears are real... they are a part of the journey.....THEN... I pray the fears away....
DETERMINED TO BE A SURVIVOR AND TO NOT LET FEAR RUIN MY LIFE!

"Can any of you add a single hour to your life by worrying?"

"If God be for us, who can be against us. " 

"When you pass through the waters,


I will be with you;

and when you pass through the rivers,

they will not sweep over you.

When you walk through the fire,

you will not be burned;

the flames will not set you ablaze.

you."



OTHER NEWS!

Some of you know that I was given the news that my son Paul, and his wife Nicole, who were married in December, are expecting!! I 'm going to be a yia yia!!  Please don't call me grandma! I'm not ready for that!
I'm thinking NANA, or MI Maw  LOL

I also sold my pontoon boat (which was too big for me to learn to drive, ) and bought a kayak inventory from a company that was closing up!  The weird things you do when you are faced with life's challenges!
I am expanding our birthday party events to include kayaking! 
NOAH'S ARK BY LAND AND BY SEA!  HAHAH
http://www.mykayakparty.com/     is born!   We already do the best birthday parties for little ones with our Farm and mobile petting zoo to you. Now, we will offer tweens and teens kayak birthday parties in different locations all around the Tampa Bay Area.  What a great way for me to get back in shape!  weeeeeeee

And.... MY HAIR IS GROWING BACK!  WOO HOO ( A bit grayer than I'd like!) I even have eyebrows growing in... now if I could just get some eyelashes!!!   hmmm falsies?


Dear friends, thank you for remaining faithful to my blog, for encouraging my on FB and in real life, for dinners brought over, for love and kindness shown to me, and my family.
Continue to think of us and to lift us up in prayer. We are not done fighting this wicked disease.

I   need strength to get through the rest--(and my Mom) I am tired. But I will not quit. xxxxxoooooooo

It's been a while!

Well the month got away from me and I'm catching flak (sp) for not writing in my blog!

Here is the latest:  Mom had her fourth and final dose of AC on Wed. Feb. 17th.  She had a very hard time this time round. Her white cells dropped so low, she had to have a blood transfusion a few days ago. That has made her feel better, and able to get out of bed too. Her fatigue and weakness were incredibly bad, but she sounded better today and is going to pull out of this! Mom will have four more doses, but of a different chemo, called Taxol. She will have another week off before she starts her Taxol round.

I had a bad reaction to my 3rd dose of AC at the end of January. The lining of my stomach was burning and irritated and severe pain everday. I was put on 'gerd' meds. That did not take away the pain.
My Dr. said I should skip a week and see if I healed enough to try the last dose of AC in my 3rd week (instead of the densley dosed two week interval.)  In my 3rd week since my last dose of AC, (Feb. 14th)
not only was I not completely healed, but we went away to the Extreme Polynesian Beach House.
My doctor said, "let's start fresh with your new chemo Taxol, when you return--Feb. 23."  The regimen for both mom and I is 4 doses of AC, then 4 doses of Taxol. Two weeks apart.
So that is what I did-- I received Taxol on Feb. 23.
I thought I was going to get lucky--because the day after my infusion with Taxol, I was feeling fine!
And, though Taxol is a highly allergic chemo, (major doses of steroids must be taken the night before) I suffered no "reaction" during my infusion either. Let me tell you, I was so terrified, I questioned my faith!
So I had to praise God all the way home-- "no reaction!"
But then... it hit me. From Thursday till now, (Sat. night) I have had the most exruciating bone and joint pain in my legs, knees, hips, feet, ankle, arms, ribs..... horrific. The on call oncologists have me taking Percocet.
It really doesn't make a dent in the pain. Advil partners with the percocet, but again, not even a dent.
I haven't slept, and I really am done with being in pain!  I am hanging on by the grace of God almighty. Otherwise I would go crazy.
To make matters worse, my good friend was killed in an auto accident Monday morning, and as if I wasn't upset enough over that and my Mom, my brother David had a seizure that sent him to the hospital these last two days!  He is going to be ok, but too many things at once== and all while I'm trying to deal with chemo pain.  Pray hard for me, for all of us. It's been a rough week!
                                  I know you all are, just reminding you, thank you!
I hang on to the hope that there are only three more doses left--- THREE!  But my good ole doc will have to get me on some type of patch to deal with this pain for the subsequent treatments. I can't bear to have my children hear me moaning in my bed anymore. And it's just not acceptable to suffer that much.
So pray for the Dr. to have wisdom in dealing with this horrible side effect. I read on the Taxol site that
numbness and neuropathy in the hands and feet is the common side effect of TAxol , and the pain I'm feeling is UNCOMMON. Wow.   
And pray Mom does not have this side effect when she starts Taxol-- I'm sure she won't. I'm just "sensitive."
Mom and I will now be on the same schedule / chemo week (unless one of us has to skip again.)
I am simply one dose ahead of her. She will receive her first Taxol on March 10, while I receive my 2nd does March 9th.
Losing my good friend Sue has awakened me once again.... to the idea of living everyday as if it were your last. To the practice of hugging and expressing your love and appreciation daily to all around you.
To saying the words, "love you" often. Dance like no one is watching! Sing karaoke! I do! Have no regrets
and praise God everyday-- he is not the source of our troubles, but the comforter when they come.

"I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.
My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth."

 Now let's talk about our vacation!! see below

I am sooo glad we seized the opportunity to go away from Feb. 14-19th with the whole family to an incredible island off of Long Boat Key called "Jewfish Key".
I landed an incredible deal thanks to a wonderful lady who owns the property. All of us descended on this "heaven" on earth beach house that looks like the Swiss Family Robinson Tree house on STEROIDS!  the island is only 1/2 mile long with trails through the woods. Only four houses on the whole island, Two vacant. One had renters for the week that we met. Then there was US!  We had our own private beach, dock, boat to use, kayaks, the whole house-- paradis!  The boys had so much fun and needed the breake just like the rest of us. Mom and Linda had a ball! Zoe and Billy even joined us for a day and a night! Valentine's night was sooo special on our own private island!  

Priase God for such an awesome time-- and the renewal of  strength to be able to get through some more chemo! 

Jan. 20th--2nd round for MOM, Jan. 26th, 3rd round for me.

Mom did well with chemo last week, but continues to be fatigued. Her white blood cell count was 1.4 today, a week after chemo--very very low!  We are worried about her and our praying it goes back up, it should, as her Neulasta shot kicks in. Otherwise, Mom has little pain, and little nausea, which is a blessing.

I did my third round of chemo yesterday, Tuesday the 26th.  I really didn't want to go. I forced myself!
At 8:30am I was pricked in the port in my chest to have my white blood cell count taken. At 10am, I saw my Dr. I told her that I was ready to quit!  She said NO WAY!  I said, "Then fix the pain in my back that makes me cough for four days!" She told me to continue taking Prilosec, as the pain could be severe reflux that chemo exacerbates. GREAT!  She said my white blood ount was 8.7, very good. (under 2 you don't get chemo)
Tonight, that pain is back, and excruciating-- typing this is hard.  :(   Flu like symptoms and eye heaviness has started. oh boy.

ON a good note, I went to the Moffit salon and got my new wig right after chemo! The stylist shaved the chicken plucked scalp of mine and fitted me into the wig. OH WHAT A hot mama!  LOL 
I still mainly wear my stylish kerchiefs, my turbans (Jamie said I'm from the desert) and my hats. But when I want to feel normal, I can slip on the wig and have hair!

I am praying for pain relief, join me. And pray for my mom. I don't want my mom to suffer anymore, and I want the cancer to be killed all over her body. If we agree, it will be so!
Keep my boys in prayer- this is hard on them.
Keep my businesses in prayer- that I can keep them running. If you want to help--long distance,
book your travel and go shopping on my booking engines. Always check my prices, competitive with Expedia and the like. And for shopping, big deals in 700 stores that pay YOU, cashback, all for free
Check it out, I appreciate it very, very much.
http://www.zamzuu.com/Default.aspx?wa=marousa

Local friends, please refer my Farm and Petting zoo to you, to all your friends, churches and festivals.
http://www.noahsarkonwheels.com/  

ok enough of the business plugs!  (HEY, a Girl's gotta feed the kids!)

I love you all, I appreciate your caring-- (Natasha, Joe Mango, Linda, Zoe, and my children's school have brought meals here, more than once and you are ANGELS ON EARTH THANK YOU!)
FB friends, thank you for your words of encouragement and supporting me! And visiting me!

FYI
(treatment plan for both mom and I)-- 4 doses (rounds) of AC, two weeks apart. I am on my 3rd dose, Mom is on 2nd.  Then Three week break! Then 4 doses of Taxol, two weeks apart.
That concludes our Chemo! Mine will end on April 20th. Mom will end a week later---IF we get all of it on time and remain healthy.
THEN WE HAVE TO DO RADIATION TOO. 6 WEEKS. UGH. That will go right into the farm camp I do here on the farm-- not good-- summer income needed. But I will get help and keep it going. The children are already asking to sign up from all over, and I can't disappoint them!

Linda, Marousa, Mom and Zoe Dec. 12, 2009- Paul and Nicoles sunset wedding

But let's end on a positive note:  GOD IS STILL GOOD, HE WILL SEE US THROUGH WITH ALL OF YOUR THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS.  Love to you all, and We shall overcome!
                                    
                            I see the light at the end of the tunnel!

2nd round of chemo for me--Jan. 13th HAIR TODAY GONE TOMORROW

Jan. 12th.
I went to Moffit to get my blood test, and see my Dr.  I discussed my symptoms of the cold, the chemo two weeks previous, etc.   She gave Ammend for nausea, Z-pack for upper respiratory infection (can you believe I got sick?) I haven't had a cold in a year! And said, "Report here for chemo tomorrow."
   
Wed. Jan 13th, I woke up this morning and true to the TWO WEEK time frame I was told, my hair came out in the hair brush in gobs.... UGH
I actually went back for my 2nd round of AC chemo.  I wasn't as nervous this time around. I had been through it and knew what to expect. My biggest issue was that I had gotten an upper respiratory infection on what was suposed to be my GOOD week, my OFF chemo week. So I gagged and coughed the week that was supposed to be a better time for me. Now, here I was about to get toxic again, with the bad cold hanging on. Dr.Khan gave me a Z-Pak to knock the infection out, and I was on my 2nd day of that antibiotic when it was chemo time again.   There was some discussion about whether I had a fever with this bad cold, and I did not. So, since my levels were 7.9 (white blood cells) and strong enough for chemo, and NO FEVER, chemo was given. 
My nurse was a perky lady originally form NY,  married to a Greek guy. We laughed about the Greeks when she said her mother-in-law would not come to visit her in FL because her dog was a house dog and Greek mama thought pets should be outside-- hahahahha.
The toxic liquid coursed through my veins and I was at peace. I told God he was good to me, despite what I had to go through. I thought about my boys, and living longer and what it would mean to them to have me around a bit into their adult years. I hope they appreciate it! LOL

After infusion was over, I mosied down to the hair salon. I was trying on all the wigs and having a good time being blonde, red, and everything in between!  I ordered a Gabor wig, bought some kercheifs, hats, and the like, to get me through my what was soon to be-- "bald and beautiful" period.  Ben got a kick out of the whole thing and cracked jokes with the salon lady the entire time. MEN.

My first two days after chemo were ok-- Because of my new nausea meds, Ammend, I did not feel nauseus, and was praising God for that.  And the debilitating headache was not there either, I was getting spoiled-- thinking I would NOT have a single side effect!  Saturday morning Paul and I had planned to attend a training and I got up even though I felt like I had the Flu. I lasted the whole 3 hours but Saturday night, my good time was up.
This hot, burning sensation started in my back and chest up to my head. My skin could not be touched.
The body aches started and I just laid in bed all night trying to figure out why this was all happening.
I was foggy, sickly, and not able to function. I had my back-up helpers there to take care of Ari and the boys seemed to be doing ok.  A party pulled into the barn at 3pm, and I was glad someone would be enjoying the farm for their birthday!
I wish I could say it got better as the night wore into Sunday, and as Sunday now has turned into Monday.
I have a pain in my gut, that feels like I've been kicked, it actually makes me cough on reflex. My head aches and my body feels like a truck has run it over several times. I am praying, meditating and wondering if I can do this ever again. I just don't know if I can. Right now I don't want to.  I am passing the painful hours
on my computer, looking for a great deal to take the boys away the week of Feb. 15th. (their week off of school) and working on my shopping portal contacts.  Something to keep me busy, working....  laundry piles up, and dishes are left undone-- you can tell it's a house full of boys...
And yet, I have so much to be thankful for--- my boys, my home.... my family, my friends.....

oh, wowwww    hair is just falling out in clumps---  when is that wig due in? Salon is going to call...

MY HOPE IS IN YOU LORD--
TOGETHER WE CAN OVERCOME--

 XXX0000
MAROU

Chemo Shmemo! is that all you got?

CHEMO SCHMEMO!   The light at the end of the tunnel has hit and I am very grateful. The last few days have been soo much better-- I started singing and dancing around the house! Karaoke!
God is faithful to us.
Thursday my Uncle Lee and Kim came up from port Charlotte to visit and we had a big fat Greek family party!  He had never been to my new home, and it's been 3 1/2 years since I built it!  He brought my Dad's  famous Dandy Day chicken fluffs and massive pizzas from his deli. He indulged us with his creamy cheese cake and it brought back memories of the diners in NJ.
Mom and my sisters came over and their other halves + kids. Mom was feeling fine, a wonderful miracle since she had Chemo Wed. We laughed and enjoyed little baby Aiden!  Linda's new grandson from Marty and Marci.

It's Saturday night and Mom has some fatigue, but otherwise is doing fine. (I made that deal remember?)
I told her my bedtime has changed, so should hers! Who cares??? Listen to your body.. I started to!
I am battling a bit of a cold type symptom last two nights. ONLY at night? Wierd.
I pray it's not anything big that I caught. I cough, and nose issues. NO fever. Anything over 100.5
I'd have to call.

The weather is so very cold for this part of the country-- a whole week of freezing temps at night!
I only ventured out today for an hour-- I can't take it! I froze. We Covered all the plants and have our tortoises wandering around the house, again!   This is Bubba- the largest one. He's got to be 80 lbs. now and is about 18 years old! African Spur Thigh tortoise.

We trip on him daily!

So despite some body aches and this little cold thing-- I have hope that I may suffer the first four days or so after chemo-- but can move on and have a good week after that. :)

My next treatment is Wed Jan 13th, providing my blood work on Tuesday is acceptable and my count isn't too low. (white blood cell count)  "c'mon little boogars, multiply!"
Mom's is Wed. the 20th. (same conditions)

Friends and Farmily: PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES--GET YOUR CHECK UPS AND DO PREVENTATIVE MEASURES AGAINST CANCER. THERE'S LOTS YOU CAN DO--it's better than chemo!
Love you so much! M.

Four days since Chemo invasion

Day ONE and Night ONE was simply wretched nausea and aches and pains.
NO Sleep of course. Flushed face. UGH
Day Two- Neulasta shot. Night two- no sleep-  horrific unending headache.
Called the doctor Friday night--- was up all night with sharp shooting pains all over my body.

Hot flushes, and.... pounding headache. Asked doc about headache. Said it's possible from chemo

but not the usual side effect.  HUH?  Glad to be UNUSUAL!  He told me to take 600mg. tylenol, or oxycodone (which made me vomit) for the headache. And... If I slur my speech to get to the hospital!

Great, thanks!  WELL-- body is feeling like a truck ran it over.

Friday to Saturday night have been mixed with pain, sharp shooting in my joints and bones all over, no notice, no stopping, intermittently shooting. Legs shaking at night from it.
I read that the joint and bone pains are supposed to be a side effect of the Neulasta shot. And not happen for one week after shot.
I"m either early with that, or these are chemo pains! And Neulast bone pain to come! UGH!
My new daughter in law Nicole helps me with laundry and dishes--every task is tiresome and painful.

My dear friend Beth came by Sat. afternoon with ginger carrot soup from the health food store, and herb salad. What a great lunch! A barn party went on at the barn Saturday too. I watched, peering at the window at the people gathered hundreds of feet away to celebrate. "Did they know a woman was in the house battling chemo, writhing in pain? Did it matter? NO and NO. Their little girl had the time of  her life in 55 degree weather at my barn for her birthday. And that's good. They yelled during the hayride and I could hear the laughter......it echoed through my water filled swamp...

NIghts are the worse: Thank God for Adivan. Or I would not sleep at all! I awake every night, every two hours-- and pray  "From where does my help come. My help comes from the Lord. "  
When I think I can't go on-- I just do.

Today is day four- it's Sunday. My kids are trying to be helpful. They're adorable and annoying still at times lol.

My friends in the travel biz text me and ask if they can come up and bring quesedillas. That sounds delish! They arrive and make the cheese and chicken filled qeusas and we laugh. They make sure I don't lift a finger and make me rest in my loveseat all wrapped up.
When the gate sticks open and the goats threaten to leave the property, Brenda, Lauren, Charlotte and Dave get on their coats and follow my son Jamie out to the barn to put the animals up, and hay them.
They gather the eggs and have their taste of farm life. And it was 45 degrees out!  brrrrrr....
All too soon they take their leave.
Tonight I am achy.... like a CAR ran me over.... and the headache persists. Tomorrow I call... i need relief.

In waltzes sister Linda and my Mom!  Chicken and salad and my coveted stone ground wheat crackers I need!  We visit for a bit and eat dinner. The boys are still stuffed from the quesas though.

I look at my Mom... I don't want her to do this too--- tomorrow she gets her port, wed. chemo.

I tell her, "Mom, it's achy, it's painful, but we can do this."  IF I COULD DOUBLE MY PAIN, AND GET HER OUT OF HAVING TO DO IT I WOULD. IS THERE SOME BARGAIN I CAN MAKE LIKE THEY DO IN THE MOVIES? WHERE IS THAT MAN THAT APPEARS AND MAKES A DEAL?

First Chemo Treatment for Marousa Wed. Dec. 30th 2009

LET'S RING IN THE NEW YEAR WITH A LITTLE POISON! ANYONE IN?  HAHAHAH

I fretted all week (except Christmas day) about the day of chemo. The day I subjected myself for prevention reasons, to Adromyacin and Cytoxin. For longevity reasons, for less recurrence reasons, for my family to "enjoy" me longer---lol,  for my boys to have a Mom longer. I kept wondering why it wasn't for ME. It just isn't. If it were for me.... I won't go there.
I wrestled with God about this whole thing alot. Especially for my Mom. I meditated Monday and prayed on my porch swing smelling the healing garden flowers of jasmine and gardenias and came to a place of peace. Finally.

First:  ON Tuesday before chemo I went to my my first Accupuncture appointment with Dr. Shila at my friend Michele's house. During my time with diagnosis, my good friend Michele who runs my boys school was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis at age 40. Horrible. She had been getting accupuncture and holistic treatment from Dr. Shila who also teaches at the boys' school. I was told by my sister Zoe that it helps through chemo and cancer. So I did it! It was very interesting! It relaxed me all day and night too. He is ordering me anti cancer herbs and chinese medicine to compliment chemo.
I am into complimentary therapies that go with our American medicine. It amazes me what American doctors don't tell you that other countries have success with!  That's another blog, another day.

Wed bright and early I woke to go get my treatment. My friend Joe, Mom, sister Linda all wanted to go. I said Zoe was meeting me and Ben driving me there (my chauffer lol) and that would be good. Joe brought dinner over later, he's an angel.
Zoe comes walking in with a big black bow on her head and a faux leopard coat and black boots.
"My chemo day is not your fashion show!"  We had a huge huge laugh.

When I was called in I felt my heart jump a little. THIS WAS IT. THE DAY I HAVE BEEN DREADING FOR TWO MONTHS. NO MORE PUTTING IT OFF FOR WEDDING, CHRISTMAS..
The nurse was sweet and Zoe came back with me (allowed one person) to my "chair." The CHEMO CHAIR!  The nurse explained that she would give me adivan to relax me first in my port and she scrubbed the port area. Zoe read a magazine and rubbed my leg as tears streamed down my face.
The nurse poked my port (big ouch) with the IV that was flat at taped it.
THUS BEGAN THE DRIPS.  Adivan relaxed me and put me to sleep!!! An anti nausea drip and then the Cytoxin was put on the drip and a steroid. I started snoozing. I awoke when she came in with two big red syringes of Adromyacin and explained I was almost done and the she would just inject those by hand into the IV.  ALMOST DONE? An hour and a half had gone by. LOL
Well, I wasn't dead yet!!  The nurse said the red stuff would make me pee red too and not to be alarmed. hahahah  Christmas colors! 
20 minutes later I was good to go. 
We picked up four RX from the pharmacy for nausea (compazine and zofran) adivan, and an anti allergic med, dexo something. Got home at 2pm-- but by 5pm the nausea started.
I took the meds. NOTHING. While the boys ate delicious Joe Mango (my friend the chef) food,
I wanted to wretch. But couldn't. Popsicle? Ginger ale?  Crackers? Ginger tea?
After five hours of nausea--I called the on call doc at Moffit. I was done, done, done, with feeling sick to my stomach and not even vomiting!!!  He said to up the frequency of the meds. I took them all again. and fell asleep around 1am.
At 2am Yiani was knocking on my door telling me that Niko had not slept all night and that his head hurt and that he thinks he has a concussion from knocking his head on Vic's leg brace during football that day!!  JUST what I needed. But hey, such is life with boys.
Today, New Year's eve day-- I awoke queezy. Crackers, ginger-ale, tea, didn't help but the meds did.
I went back to Moffit at 11am for the Neulasta white blood cell shot in the tummy.  That comes with it's own set of side effects in three days--joint and bone pain I was told. But the way it raises your white cells to fight off colds and such is the major benefit, so apparently it's worth it.
 I was red and flushed all day like I had a sunburn. Side effect of chemo is what I read and was told.  NO BLUSH NEEDED  LOL   Headaches go with the territory too. Mine is non stop.
         It's New Year's eve and we've been invited to my daughter in law's home, Mr. Koulias' to celebrate. Big Fat Greek New Year!
Hopefully I will feel good enough to go. Right now I'm feeling the warmth of prayers from my family, my FB friends, my travel buddies and my relatives all over the world!  I love you all!  muaaa!

        I want to go wig shopping very soon! Anyone want to           join? Blonde, Red, Brunette? :)

                HUG SOMEONE TODAY AND LET THEM BE THE FIRST TO LET GO. AND               REMEMBER GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME.

         MOM:  Monday her port, Wednesday her chemo!
                        Cancer Shmancer is our motto!

More NewS! And Paul and Nicole tie the knot!

HELLO friends, and friends of friends, and anyone else who has stumbled upon this blog of hope!

It's been a weepy morning. Yes, you heard right!  I weep sometimes  LOL .  I know many of you think I'm made of steel-- but I'm not.  It's been a rough week for me. My best friend was diagnosed with MS, I had a port implanted in my chest on Monday. I saw my chemo doctor yesterday. Mom saw her surgeon for her follow up yesterday with Linda and Russ. And Mom sees a chemo doc today at Morton Plant, which I will attend, with Linda too. CRAZY HUH?
But in the midst of all of it,  some Sunshine!!   This past Saturday, Dec. 12th-- Paul and Nicole (my eldest son) were married in a sunset wedding ceremony on the beach in Sand Key, FL.  God was blessing us with this gorgeous day, sunset and time together!  I love them sooo much!

Meanwhile, Mom has had a wonderful recovery from her surgery. Miraculous to say the least! HARDLY TOOK ANY PAIN MEDS. "SHOWED ME UP." HAHAH
She had her drain taken out yesterday by Dr. Blumenkrantz (Linda said it was painful!) OW
(Then they all met up with Zoe and Billy's after that appointment to get "healthy and encouraged!" 
Zoe is a blessing with her research she does and working at the health food store. Linda and Russ have renovated Mom's bathroom and organized her house spic and span!  What a blessing! )
Dr. Blum***  referred her to an oncologist for chemotherapy, and that appointment is today.

This past Monday, I reported bright and early to Moffit to have my port implanted. Of course it had to be eventful!!!  They couldn't get the IV in because I hadn't drank anything (dehydrated) as per their instructions. The nurse said she had to hold it in place and didn't mind going into the O.R too.
They shot some sedative into the IV as well as an anitbiotic. As they were wheeling me in, my hands
and feet began to itch incessantly!  "Hey um, itchy.. I'm itchy!  OOO Scratch my feet!" 
The nurse lifted my blanket once we got to the ER--  HIVES AND RED BLOTCHES ALL OVER ME!
AY VAY!  I could hear them, "She's allergic to the antibiotic people, we need benadryl!"
Then I yelled, "Ow, my arm, my arm! "  The I.V. had infiltrated and was pumping fluid into my
tissue, not my vein. It had a big puffy liquid spot under my skin, and PAIN.  "Take your time" the nurse told the surgeon, "I have to put in a new IV, she's infiltrated."   Then, I was out!
I woke in the recovery room, 25 minutes later. This lump was on the left part of my chest, and right under the base of my neck on the left. Clear tape like bandage covered the whole thing. OUCH.
It's red and black and blue today and hurts-- but I need to toughen up!!

Tuesday-- Back to Moffit for me to meet my chemo doctor and ask her mega questions!!
1- I'm terrified of chemo!  I told her flat out-- I have big anxieties over it.  She said it was normal
and that she was 99% sure I would be fine with all of it and even NOT suffer horrific side effects. I am healthy she said. She said she'd give me adivan in my cocktail.  COCKTAILS ANYONE?  LOL
2- My supplements!  Why can't I take them during chemotherapy?  She said that she was NOT against them during chemo, but that I had to cut down so as not to tax the liver. The liver assimilates the chemo and could be "over run" with supplements and chemo all together. She approved my multi vitamin/spirulina whole food base, and my COQ10.  She asked me to wait till after chemo for the rest.
I felt better!
3- DO I HAVE TO START BEFORE CHRISTMAS?  Well, the sooner the better she said. But...
Have a great holiday and I will see you on the 30th!!!  oh boy, a Christmas reprieve!
4-CHEMO SCHEDULE = EVERY  two weeks. I will go get bloodwork done, then report for
chemotherapy infusion, as long as my blood work looks healthy. Right now it's peak/wonderful.
Heart tests great too.
I will receive AC chemo infusion for a couple of hours. Then return the next day for a red blood cell shot booster.  I will do this for 4 rounds. (every two weeks, four times.) Then 3 week break.
Then, a different chemo drug,  TAXOL, every week for 12 weeks. Bout five months total. 
OH HORRORS === I'M TRYING TO STAY POSITIVE! AND LEAN ON GOD!
5- She looked at my port site (this is where my chemo IV will be poked through my skin into the port
so as not to have an IV in my arm every time.) and said it looked a little red and that the anti
allergy tape dressing still irritated me. I told her about the antibiotic reaction too.

TODAY WE'LL SEE WHAT MOM'S CHEMO DOCTOR SAYS. 

GOD IS STILL GOOD -- KEEP PRAYING--- LOVE TO ALL!! 

Victory!

On Monday Mom had a lumpectomy and lymph node dissection. In other words, her canerous tumor in her right breast was removed, along with ALL HER lymph nodes on her right side in that area, and a drain was put in (a tube that empties fluid into bulb.)

Linda, Zoe, Mom and I met at Morton Plant hospital in Clearwater in good spirits that morning!

We went through the placement of the wire in her breast t mark the tumor, (so the surgeon can easily find and take out the tumor) the pre-op stuff. And then waited! Mom in her pre-op bed, and the three sisters
hopeful, prayerful, laughing and keeping very positive! Pastor's wife Maureen joined us and then the party began LOL.
Amazingly enough, we did not get kicked out of the tiny curtained "holding cell" where in reality, only one person was allowed to be along side Mom! We noticed some disorganized surgery techs, nurses while waiting 3 hours in there too! "You forgot so and so in room ..." Well, we were vigilant and not about to let anyone forget Mom! Dr. Blumenkranz came to see us briefly, the world reknown breast surgeon who in a short while, would expertly snip snip our mother! Not much of a bedside manner, but who cares when you're brilliant!
The anesthesiologist came by and said, "We'll take care of you, don't worry." and winked.
My kinda guy!
But then the nurse stated that mom needed to go to nuclear for her "dye" injection. HUH? I told her she was not having a sentinel node biopsy, that all her nodes were coming out, so I didn't think dye was injected....??? When she double checked, she told us I was right. sheesh. That made us nervous.
But not as nervous as the "relaxer" injection they gave Mom made us! Mom completely knocked out
from a small dose of sedative. So much so that bells started ringing because her oxygen level plummeted below 70% saturation! The nurse roused her as I frantically played with the clip on her finger thinking it had to be reading it wrong! The nurse said she was a "cheap date" and not to worry. They put O2 on her
since the sedative made her NOT breathe deeply. But we were worried. We called the Anethesiologist back in to tell him about the "cheap date Mom" so he would NOT overdue her in surgery.

HE CALMED US DOWN. WHAT A TRIO WE WERE! lol

After we completely starved ourselves, talked out Maureen for sure, it was time to kiss mama goodbye.
I had total peace that only God gives. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she was going to be fine!
We went to the cafeteria to bombard the salad bar while Mom's demon cancer tumor was being cut away. It was really nice to be with my sisters, I love them sooo much.

We retired to the surgery waiting room to wait the surgeons call. YES, telephone call on a special phone
given to us. NO more coming into the waiting room and talking personally--- this is the year 2010! ....almost.
I was designated phone answerer and Dr. Blumenkranz called a little over an hour later.
WOW-- after 30 years of doing this, the man can carve it out in NO time huh???
You don't become number six in the nation by being slow and sloppy. On the contrary, the man is genius.
We were allowed to see her once she was being wheeled to her room. We quickly rode the elevator to the 6th floor-- I did I ever tell ya'll that I hate elevators? But you know what? I didn't mind this time!

MOM came through with flying colors and was happy to see us in her room. But the minute I walked into the semi private room I knew I had to get a private one. The bed next to her had company and they were LOUD. Thankfully the charge nurse found her a room without a roommate and it was so peaceful.
Mom was in great spirits, a little pain, but happy to be alive!!!

She tried to kick us out and make us go home all night-- she is soo funny like that. Doesn't want her daughters to be "taxed" having to take care of her. She doesn't realize that it's our pleasure!
I was elected to stay overnight as Linda's husband had to work all night and she had to be with the children. And Zoe had to work in the morning.  I, being the flexible entrepreneur LOL, make my own hours hahahah
The chair was not comfortable to sleep in as it only lounged out so far, but my eyes were on Mom who would doze off immediately after every pain shot. I didn't want her to stop breathing!!!
We were discharged the next day and I delivered her to Linda at Mom's condo.

But boy did we get the surprise of our lives:
MOM IS NOT IN THAT MUCH PAIN, SHE IS Fiesty LIKE A SPRING CHICKEN --- tonight she was wrapping presents and even took a short walk outside today!! ZOE told her to take it easy!
Is God not good? Is HE not the healer and comforter during life's trials?
A nurse comes to the condo once a day to check vitals and the wounds. So far so good!
Her follow up with the surgeon is next Tuesday.
THE BEST NEWS IS WE NOW KNOW FOR SURE SHE WILL BE ABLE TO ATTEND PAUL AND NICOLES WEDDING CEREMONY ON THE BEACH THIS SATURDAY, DEC. 12TH! YES, MY SON IS GETTING MARRIED!
My next appointment is Monday the 14th, for a surgical precedure where they'll insert a port in my shoulder.
That is where I will receive the chemo treatments. Then on the 15th, I go to meet my oncologist AGAIN to discuss details that I just didn't get in our first meeting!! Unless I'm sure of all the details, I can't be comfortable! I assume chemotherapy will become my enemy, my friend all at the same time.
I would like to wait until after Christmas for my first dose, as I cannot see what another 10 days would do. But it will be up to my Doctor.

Thank you all for reading and caring, and praying without ceasing!

Celebrate!!!

Today I went for genetic counseling at Moffit's  Screening Center. After drawing out my entire family tree, (kinda felt like I was in Kindergarden again) they came up with a figure that said I only had a 6.8% chance of having the BRC1 or 2 Mutated gene for cancer. WOW! Great odds for NOT having it, and that was GREAT NEWS!  That gene, if a woman has it, puts you at a very high risk for cancer of the breast and ovaries, and you ought to think about preventative surgeries to STOP it.  The actual test to find out if I am in the 6.8%  cost $3,000!! Not covered by my insurance either! A MEAN California company is the only company that has the "patent" to do the test and they can charge outrageous fees to do it! What a bunch a meanies!  They are beind sued for that.
There is one Dr. in Canada who performs the test for free if he accepts your app. We'll see what he says. I'd like to know either way because then I can make better decisions about future surgeries and my sisters will have a better idea of their predisposition to cancer too.

                                     But let me rush right into the good news about MOM!!!

At the "2nd opinion" appointment, we received the results of her breast MRI and yesterday's
 PET SCAN of the her whole body--- THEY WERE CLEAR!! The only cancer cells clustered and LIT up, were the ORIGINAL ones in her right breast and lymph node!
This is such excellent news! NO metastisis seen!
                           PRAISE GOD ALMIGHTY!

Her appointment was with Dr. Extremenn who is the lead geriatric oncologist at Moffit Cancer Center.  My sister Linda drove mom and I met up with them. When Linda got there, they had canceled her appointment!!! They thought since she was scheduled for surgery on Monday, Dec. 7th with Morton Plant's Breast Center, that she was not needing this appointment. Linda was stern and said,
                          "You put her back on that schedule, we came all this way!"
So by the time I got there, she was getting lab work done and everything was straightened out. One thing you don't do in our family is mess with our ma ma! OR-- face the wrath of her daughters!! LOL  Her pulmonologist found that out when she was hospitalized last year hahahahah

When Dr. Extremenn came in the room she exlaimed, "Ti Kanis!" to my mom and we all burst out laughing and speaking in Greek with her! Which was so funny because she only knew that one phrase, "How are You?" plus she was German with a strong accent -- I could not stop laughing!
She was great, explaining everything to Mom in an easy to understand fashion.
She said mom was doing the right thing having the surgery. And that a masectomy was recommended since the placement of her tumor was not in a great place for a smaller operation to be of any use.
 (no lumpectomy like I had. ) And a lymph node axillae dissection (all nodes out on that side.) She said that after mom's operation, that she could see her back at Moffit if she liked to discuss the results of the findings once the nodes were all tested and the tumor was tested. She said that mom was fairly healthy and with a few side diseases, (high blood pressure which is controlled now, COPD, and controlled high cholestrol) she should live another 13 or more years. And to stop the triple negative breast cancer from returning in that time period, Dr. EX said she would give mom Chemotherapy. A meal of chemo, but until results are back, NOT saying what would be in the meal, because that would be premature.
 MOM expressed concern that she had read in a book that people should not be heavily dosed with chemo because it's harmful.  Mom told Dr. Ex that they wanted to dense dose me and that she was worried about it. Dr. Ex listened with understanding and said that everyone's dose is different and that MY dose would certainly be more dense than hers since I have a lot of years to have recurrence.  UGH!!    LINDA brought up alternative and complimentary medicine and supplements. Dr. EX was open to it (Germany is a leader in that.) She said that her pharmacologist would look to see any contraindications with the chemo depending on the supplement.  WE LIKE THAT, BECAUSE WE'RE ALL ABOUT HERBS, SUPPLEMENTS AND THE PROVEN ALTERNATIVE/COMPLIMENTARY THINGS YOU CAN DO TO KILL CANCER THAT THE TRADITIONAL CANCER ESTABLISHMENT IGNORES.
All in all it was a great appointment!!!  I ran out to call ZOE as we had NO reception in there.
YOU CAN IMAGINE HER RELIEF AND JOY! WE ARE ALL CELEBRATING GOD'S MERCY TONIGHT! AND OUR FIRST BATTLES OF VICTORY WITH 
CANCER SCHMANCER!  NANNY NANNY BOO BOO!!!

It's a Happy Thanksgiving!

Yesterday was my first appointment with my Moffit Oncologist. She had the results from last week's scans. My stomach churned all the way there. WHAT would I say, WHAT would I do if they found cancer somewhere else in my body? "Don't fall apart, hold steady....Lord give me peace, I need peace whatever the results are... whatever it is, it's beatable...." 

The waiting room was surreal. I felt like I was outside my body looking around at everyone. A kerchiefed lady, a young woman, two couples, chatting.... I watched the weather. What would it be like for Thanksgiving?? I thought about seeing my sister from NC again, cranberry sauce and...there goes my healthy eating!  I take so many herbs and supplements and eat so much organic greens, and drink so much juiced carrots and such that I don't even know if I can stomach traditional Thanksgiving dinner!

Dr. Khan (haha The WRATH of Khan, the movie) was nice enough. But she somehow missed the fact that I had already had a lumpectomy! She was talking about this trial that I could be in for triple negative breast cancer women... yada yada yada...  I finally flat out said, "THE SCANS, WHAT DID THE SCANS SHOW?"  She looked at the paperwork and said, "Nothing, we found nothing else."
I smiled. whew. Thank you God. 
Then she said I was stage 2A.  "WHAT??  You found nothing else, My tumor was removed and the nodes were negative, so HOW can I be Stage 2A? "   She said, "Your tumor was 2 1/2 centimeters when measured at the lab. Anything over 2cm is a Stage 2A, even if lymph nodes are negative."  UMMMM
''HOW Did it get to be so big!? It was 1.5 centimeters in the radiology films!"  She said sometimes their off, and sometimes they grow!!

Then she proceeded to tell me that she wanted me to have chemotherapy every two weeks. Because my type of cancer comes back in 5-10 years according to studies of other women, who have blazed the cancer trail before me--50% of the time, unless you do chemo. Then it's lowered to about 15% recurrence. hmmmmm   Guess I better do it then if I want to be around in 10 years! 
Every two weeks, instead of every three, to ZAP it good. 
"But Doctor Khan, I explained, you don't understand my lifestyle. I can't be sick and throwing up. I have six kids to take care of. Four of my own crazy boys, and two medical foster children. And my son is getting married Dec. 12th, and I have 100 farm animals.... and I get anxiety when I'm nauseaus!!!"  She said I'd have medications to thwart all that off and I"d be fine. (I've heard the stories, so I don't believe it.) 
She also said I could wait until Dec. 14th to start. NO harm will be done. YAY!  She is anxious to see the results of my Brca genetic testing that I will have done Dec. 1st. That will tell us if I carry the cancer gene mutation.

  I am not looking forward to this VALLEY I must cross with chemo. But life was never promised to be easy and I am optimistic that this will be a valley of hope! God will see me through.

THE HEALING GARDEN! That's the name of the newly planted flower garden on my tiers out front. I know I won't feel like planting when I'm going through chemo on most days, so NOW is better.

Now onto MOM-- Mom just had her MRI today, but no results yet of course. I spoke to my oncologist about her, and she is wanting her to be sure to keep the appointment for a "2nd" opinion at Moffit on Dec. 1st. She said that MOM could be in the clinical trial of such and such, yada yada....
If we get a totally different opinion at Moffit as compared to Morton Plant for MOM, we might need a third!!! Ay vay!  MOM continues to be positive and laugh with me about our unusual plight and
timing--- laugh much -love much- and dance like no one is watching- and may I add... sing karaoke often! 
GOD IS GOOD AND REMAINS OUR CONSTANT ROCK.
                   HAVE A HAPPY THANKSGIVING!   

 

Nov. 20th-- Mom has a date for surgery

Today Zoe, Kay (mom) and I went to Morton Plant Comprehensive Breast Center and met the famou
Dr. Blumenkrantz.  At first Zoe was not really liking the man who was not warm and fuzzy. But
warmed up to him later. He is very knowledgable and from my research started the "sentinel node biopsy precedure" right at his clinic. I mentioned to him that I've heard that senior citizens are typically "undertreated" and dont' get chemo and such because they are misjudged as being too frail. He said, "That is true around the globe, but not here."  He informed me that my doctor at Moffit, worked under him as an intern before going to Moffit.  (That's funny because he assumed that she made the "undertreatment" comment and he wanted to make it clear that he has been doing this for 30 years and started while my doc was still a child  hahahah) 

OK-- the news is that mom has tripe negative cancer too.  ugh.  When she wants sympathy pains, she goes all the way!!  Dr. Blum said her mass has ductal AND lobular features and all together takes up a large area of about 4 by 5 centimeters. He recommended an MRI and Pet Scan to be viewed before surgery, but we actually made a SURGERY APPOINTMENT!  Mom will have a semi radical masectomy on her right side, and axillary node dissection (all lymph nodes removed.)
It's a rough road-- but she will pull through with flying colors!

Me- I spent all day at Moffit for tests-- a bone scan and a CT. Scan. What a production that is! 
First-- a nice enough man calls my name in the waiting room which is packed with people. Some reading, some doing the jigsaw puzzles all over the tables, some watching cnn. Most reading. Some with no hair, (chemo) some frail, some robust. Some for the first time for scans (me) others have been through this routine a half dozen times to see if their cancer is in remission.
I watch them all, I think about their families, and imagine their first diagnonsis' reaction. Were they scared like me? dumb question.

Back to the man-- I see him waving to me to follow him. He turns and asks, "birthdate?" It is their
way of identifying that they have the right person. I've never seen a hospital soooo vigilant.
He walks me back to the NUCLEAR room again. yikes!   He gives me an I.V. so that he can inject my
nuclear medicine into me. It will take three hours for it to course through my veins and show up in the Bone Scan. We joke about the "nuke" part of this whole ordeal. He is jovial.
Back in the waiting room, I wait for my "contrast drinks."  Oh joy, here they come! Three cups full of
orange blechhh!!!  "Drink one every twenty minutes ok?" I obey and let me tell you:  If I ever smell and orange crystal light or tang type drink again I will vomit!
I could barely get it all down, and it was nearing my test time. (CT first)  I was called back for my CT, and I'd been there two hours already (contrast has to go through your body.)
the CT was not a tunnel (I had checked that out two days before.) Thank you Lord. It was a doughnut
and by the time you go IN, you are coming out the other end. I went in and out of it, holding my breath and with a nurse holding an IV and injecting stuff into me the whole time for 20 minutes. All the while praying-- there's nothing there God, there's nothing there, you are my healer my redeemer. I pictured the radiologist in the room looking at the scan and thinking, "Nothing of concern here."

It was not horrific or anything. But I felt somewhat like a guinea pig in a laboratory. I pictured myself as a rat too! AT one point the nurse said to me, "Now the next injection into the IV to your arm is going to make you feel warm inside and like you are peeing your pants."  I cracked up. I said, "God forbid!" And then really prayed I wouldn't pee my pants! After all, I drank three glasses of orange blechhh.

An hour later I was on the bone scan table. The same guy who injected the nuclear stuff into my arm was
operating the bone scanner. He was great because he made me feel at ease by talking about all kinds of things, mostly all my nosy questions.  He never tired of it though. I had this 2ft by 2ft block, kind of like and x ray machine combin over my body in different ways. At one point I asked if it was going to hover over my face and for how long. He said, "Yes, but I'll be right here to guide you through it." I said you know us claustrophobics just need to know there's a way OUT. And there was. Both sides of me were open. so was the front over my legs and feet. I actually didn't panic at all when the scanner had to linger over my face for 4 minutes.  Then I did a no no.  As I was getting off the table, this silly girl looked at the scanned image of my body on his screen.  I saw some areas lit up. Two circles in my chest and my spine, and my bladder (he mentioned that himself-- that my bladder was full and lighting up.) Even though I had just gone potty!
I walked out in a daze. I have not googled what it means. I was under the impression that "lit" spots are cancer. Zoe says it means different things, a trumatized area, etc.  Needless to say I let  then enemyof FEAR grip me the rest of the night and tossed and turned.
Yay though I walk through the valley of darkness, I will fear no evil!!

Triple Negative Breast Cancer-- what the heck?

WOW,  after researching my subtype of cancer in more detail, I found myself sinking into a depression today.  It's just not a promising type to have! All the stories you hear about it being so winnable are from women who they treat with all the great new drugs out there now. I don't qualify for those drugs because I am Triple Negative for any receptors that are estrogen or progesterone releated. God really is wanting me to hand it over to HIM!

On a great note:  Moffit called today, I called them AGAIN and left another message this morning--and they got Mom in for Dec. 1st and promised to squeeze her in sooner if possible. So this Friday for first consultation with Morton Plant with Mom, then hopefully Moffit soon! Squeaky wheel gets....
oK SO Today Ms. Sunshine is not so sunny!  I can't be positive 24/7 it seems. I got down on myself and convinced myself that if I didn't think positive 24/7 I would spread my disease, my demon affliction.
By the post below, I'm not alone! LOL I got this post off of the Triple Negative Breast Cancer Foundation Site.  The only site dedicated to 1/3 of the breast cancer population, LIKE ME.

SHE WRITES:
It is a little unnerving to be told by lots of people that my prognosis depends on having a "positive attitude." In the book Breast Cancer Journal: A Century of Petals by Juliett Wittman, she writes that living in Boulder, Colorado, she was particularly exposed to the idea that we create our own reality, including disease, and how she struggled with that. Her therapist explained to her one day that a study he had just read found that women with breast cancer who had a hostile attitude toward their doctors had a better outcome that those who had a positive attitude all the time. I'm really really paraphrasing here because I can't find the book. And I'm not advocating for hostile or against positive attitudes. And I'm not saying there is NO mind-body connection. But I don't think we created our disease with our minds and I think it's a huge burden to try to have a "positive attitude" all the time.

Well, I think I'll get hostile and tell off my doctors-- hahahah   J/K  

Let me tell you, laughter is the best medicine. I talked to my brother Gary and he had me in stitches with his humor! It perked me right up. Perhaps cancer patients need a comedy club membership?

Here's the triple negative breast cancer site-- http://www.tnbcfoundation.org/    aka   TBNC    
The more we know, the more we can push for research and funding for this type of cancer too.

I'm getting back UP-- hugs to all--

JUICING & THE MUGA SCAN TODAY NOV. 17TH, 2009 for Marousa

I woke up this morning and called my mom. She answered and I said, "Cancer Schmancer!"  She laughed!  We exchanged JUICING stories. I said, "Today I had carrots, celery, sprouts, apple, orange,
all juiced together, just not sure that it's good to mix all of that--but since I wasn't doing the juicing, I had haha-- It was very good actually."  Mom said she had done carrots and an apple.  Boring!   (Mom has a great, upbeat attitude as usual.)
We are definitely doing the things we've heard other survivors have done. Mom's low sodium diet and more healthy eating has given her the lowest blood pressure ever for her. Good news! Zoe really got her going on that. She cleaned out mom's cabinets (and brought it all over here! hahahaha for the boys, not me, they can have salt.)
Juicing for me is like an energy pill-- It is unbelievable.

Today I went to Moffit for the Multigated Acquisition- or MUGA test done in the Nuclear medicine department.
Pulling up to Moffit, is like pulling up to the Don Cesar Resort in St. Pete Beach!  The valets greet you at your car and whisk your vehicle away! There are people everywhere either dropping off their cars or waiting for their cars to arrive! The only difference is, when we get inside, we don't go for a massage, or a Pina Colada by the pool and such, we go inside and meet our doctors, our technicians, and seek information and hope for LIFE!!   (Then we hop in our cars and go to the Don Cesar!  LOL) 

My test today would determine whether my heart is strong and working well. Dr. Khapour, my surgeon said it's standard to want to know this for anyone that might be getting chemotherapy.

I was ushered into a room for a perky phlebotomist to draw out my blood. I was enjoying our conversation and happy to have a posisitive person to speak with! Last time I had blood drawn, the tech was a ROBOT--  I asked if I could take her pulse because I though she had died.  Just kidding.
She then mixed it with a small amount of radioactive tracer and 20 minutes later (I almost missed her calling me because I ran down to Starbucks in the lobby and got some Tazo TEA!)  she re-injects the combo into my veins. Now, let me tell you, I half expected to be lighting up like a NUCLEAR reactor!!!  But I was reassured that that was not the case and that the amount was miniscule-- ok, no THREE MILE ISLAND (NJ people will appreciate that one.) 
I was led into the imaging room. Whew! Just like they promised, I would not be in a tunnel. I layed on a bed, and on my left side a large TV type screen came down and hovered over my left side at an angle, but my head was not covered, nor my whole right side. YAY  3 EKG wires attached to me view my heart beat. The machine would watch the tagged blood as it circulated through my heart.
I fell asleep! It must have been the music-- it was like ZEN type stuff lol.
Well, that was easy enough!  I'll post results when I get them!

Hugs to everyone!    "When you walk through the fire, I will be with you."

Waiting

I think the waiting is the hardest. Mom has an aggressive tumor, but has to WAIT until
Friday morning to SEE the surgeon. Now we are also waiting for the 2nd opinion of MOFFIT's
Geriatric Oncologists too. That appointment isn't set yet because they haven't called back!
Waiting. Waiting. WAITING! Patience is a virtue! (I heard quickness is too! not really)

I'm going for a heart test tomorrow called a Muggins. (Chemo prep) And on Thursday for a
bone scan and CT. I have no idea how I will get into the 'tunnel.' I just am very claustrophobic
and have only had OPEN MRI's before! WHERE'S THE XANAX! LOL
First they will inject dye into me, THEN in two hours, scan me-- that way on the scan-- any cancer detected in my body will light up like a Christmas tree. That's what I've heard.
THIS IS ONE TIME THAT I DON'T WANT TO SEE ANY LIGHTS! YOU GET ME? AHAHAHAHA SAVE THE LIGHTS FOR MY CHRISTMAS TREE IN THE FAMILY ROOM!

Thank you all for praying-- it's an uphill battle--but WE WILL WIN THE WAR!

QUOTE OF THE WEEK- JAMIE- "Nanny, what's with all this cancer stuff? You gonna be ok?" Nanny-"Yes Jamie, I'm going to fight this." Jamie- "ok Nanny, cuz I don't like it! "

Dear friends and family,

MY Mom being diagnosed with breast cancer the same month as me- is just unfathomable. Please keep us close to your hearts and in your prayers-- I need to hold it together for the boys and am calling upon all the strength God can give me. The boys are all taking the stress of it all differently, and not always so well (yiani). But Paul has stepped up to the plate for sure.
Counseling should help all of them. I am keeping things as normal as I can so they can still have a life--Niko's birthday party is tonight.
However, this getting to be too much for any one person, so I've become a bit numb, at least today I have!. I am sorry I've not been able to be reached by phone-- my list grows with callbacks to dear friends that have not been done yet.

God promised that it wouldn't be anymore than I could handle, but this is pushing it, ya think?

We are devastated by my mom's breast cancer diagnosis--- but by no means do we feel it's a death sentence.
Zoe took Mom to the health food store and she is on a great regimen now that has already lowered her blood pressure by alot! LInda is coming from NC for a few months to help and will stay at mom's condo. So we will fight this thing together!!

Mom has Morton Plant appt. with DR. Blumenkrantz on the Nov. 20. She had a clean mammo last year! So this is a shock because it's already in the closest lymph node to the breast, which means they either missed it last year, or it's very aggressive.- well, the tumor grade for aggressiveness for mom is 2-3 out of 3. (mine was 1-2, less aggressive)

MY DAY THURSDAY
I went to Moffit today and talked to my
Dr. about mom too! My doc feels that senior citizens are undertreated for cancer all the time and should receive chemo just like everyone else because they have 15 good years left!!! So the word renknowned Geriatric Oncologists at Moffit were recommended to us for mom, and I am getting that appointment asap.
We will see both doctors for Mom and go from there. Mom's cancer is rare, and aggressive so we are acting quickly.
My news had disappointing parts but good news too. The good news was that we got clean margins all around the tumor in the lab. (the tissue around the tumor tested negative that she took out.) The 2 lymph nodes she took from me tested negative a 2nd time in the lab. This very good news because sometimes the lymph node tests negative during surgery, but come back with small cells from the lab four days later. Mine came back clear! So it is confirmed that my cancer did not go beyond the breast. yay!
The odd news is that my cancer receptors are negative for estrogen. Laymans terms: My cancer is not fueled by excess estrogen in my system, not from overweight, or soy, nothing like that, like most women's breast cancer 2/3rds. The yucky thing about not being estrogen fueled is that they now have drugs to help prevent recurrence of cancer for estrogen fueled cancer. Drugs like tamoxifen, that I cannot take since it won't benefit me. It also means that my cancer has higher rate of recurrence. ugh. Which puts me at a disadvantage. So they want me to do Chemotherapy to zap my body from any stray cells. They also think I may have the cancer ''gene'' so I am to be tested for it.
They also want a bone scan and a ct scan of my whole body to see if there's anything else out there lurking. Mostly because if it's not estrogen fueled cancer, then what the heck is fueling it!? That's the question. And they want to be very aggressive with me to stop recurrence since I am young, and have 30 years of recurrence to battle.

I didn't want Tamoxifen anyway!!! Cancer Schmancer!!!!

Next week I get bone/ct scans and heart test (to see if it can handle chemo)
Chemo doctor meets me Nov. 24th. I want to ask about integrative therapies using nutrional and herbal supplements while doing chemo. I want the best of both worlds-- modern medicine and natureopathic too.
I am just wondering what the risk would be to start the chemo after Paul and Nicole's little ceremony on Dec. 12. I don't want to be sick for that.
That's right, they are "eloping" to clearwater beach but the parents and siblings get to attend! lol Then in January a big fat Greek Party to celebrate! Everyone will be invited to the party, so stay tuned.
FRIDAY
Trying to keep positive and prayerful and glad I've finally started blogging to keep my friends and family informed in a streamlined way!
And everyone alway wonders how the businesses can keep running when I am having surgery, or now , will be starting chemo.
I still return all the zoo calls and book the events, and market and set appointments for my travel and shopping e-commerce center. www.NoahsArkTravels.com
I have delegated the zoo "physical labor" to wonderful helpers, Paul, Ben, Lu, and hired a "personal assistant/cleaner/errand girl" Jen, to help around the house-- starting her now is good beause I'm preparing for the chemo "blech!"

Where there's life there's hope!!
My neice in law and nephew Marty and Marcy and their sweet new miracle baby (born the hours I was in surgery!) will be coming over tonight, as well as mom and zoe and billy-- we will all be together and I may not let the new baby go home with Marcy! Family/friends are so important right now-- can't wait till Linda and Russ get here, and my only wish was that my brothers and their fams were here too!! I miss them so much. My Uncle isn't far and we're overdue to see him and his family too---this type of thing has a way of slapping you upside your head and making you realize what's important-- God, family and friends-not whether the house is clean! So plan a visit if I haven't seen you in awhile! My door is always open!

Hugs, Marousa